The Bird Flu Plot

by Nathan Hamm on 10/21/2005 · 3 comments

I extend my thanks to the LDPR’s Aleksei Mitrofanov and MosNews for brightening my day.

“There is no such thing as bird flu, just as there is no AIDS, tulip or mad cow disease,” Mitrofanov was quoted as saying by the Rosbalt news agency.

“It is a provocation by Americans. They want to eliminate all chickens in Europe so that we have to import ’Bush’s legs’,” he said. “Bush’s legs” is a Russian saying for deep frozen chicken thighs massively imported from the U.S. under President George Bush Sr.

I would say that Mitrofanov is a loon,* but I’ve had ostensibly well-balanced West Europeans** speak to me of similar American plots to be hatched in the future. So why not play to these fears? I would love to hear the next State Department daily briefing include a statement that the US will not rest until all winged beasts of Europe have died and the people of Europe are forced to dine on succulent Bush legs.

This post brought to you in my capacity as self-appointed dictator-for-life of the MosNews Appreciation Society.

*I’m very proud of myself for having resisted making a joke about his status as a loon making him susceptible to bird flu.
**Okay, Belgians mostly… And I hesitate to make generalizations about Western Europeans from experiences with Belgians. There’s got to be something funny in the water there.

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– author of 2991 posts on 17_PersonNotFound.

Nathan is the founder and Principal Analyst for Registan, which he launched in 2003. He was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Uzbekistan 2000-2001 and received his MA in Central Asian Studies from the University of Washington in 2007. Since 2007, he has worked full-time as an analyst, consulting with private and government clients on Central Asian affairs, specializing in how socio-cultural and political factors shape risks and opportunities and how organizations can adjust their strategic and operational plans to account for these variables. More information on Registan's services can be found here, and Nathan can be contacted via Twitter or email.

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WLB October 21, 2005 at 6:49 pm

As far as I understand, the Nobel Peace Prize Winner of last year, Wangari Maathai, has made similar statements regarding AIDS being a plot to kill Africans.

Andy October 23, 2005 at 2:56 am

I see that Bird Flu has found its way to my homeland – England – now, via a diseased parrot. Clearly an evil American plot, for who else would be daft enough to not realise that parrots do not migrate to England, and must be carried on airplanes and the like (thus subjecting themselves to quarantine). Far more sensible to pick a swallow or a coconut or something.

And… what value is there to being a self-appointed dictator? Who likes a dictator?

Dear Leader of the MosNews Appreciation Society

Robert May 12, 2006 at 7:40 pm

say Andy, is that a European or an African Swallow,
Monty Python strikes again

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